Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
