Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
