Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
She bit a glass in half.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Randomize
