How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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