so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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