it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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