READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
