Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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