I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
