I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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