I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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