Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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