She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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