We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize