i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I want a musical about memes.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
