Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Randomize
