Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
