I CAN MOONWALK!
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
