I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize
