is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
