Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
