So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Randomize
