so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
