Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
i've created a new STD.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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