I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
