i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
drinking out of a sandbucket again
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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