carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
It's blow job season.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
