If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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