When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
