I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I got inside last night via doggy door
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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