Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
