She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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