i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize
