you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
