the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
