Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
