Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
