So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
