i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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