I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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