She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
