I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
there was a trapeze. enough said
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
