No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I feel like death gave me a hand job
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize
