don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
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