so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
