dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
