I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
