it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I enjoy the company of your penis
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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