i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
