I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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