she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
