Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
