Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
