I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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